


i love you because i know no other way than this;

by badasskorra



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, What am I doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 23:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7457338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badasskorra/pseuds/badasskorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He dreamed of the dungeons. He was wearing that dreaded collar of Wyrdstone, once again a prisoner in his own body, controlled by creatures hungry for power and destruction. </p>
<p>//</p>
<p>dorian has a nightmare and goes to chaol</p>
            </blockquote>





	i love you because i know no other way than this;

**Author's Note:**

> where I does not exist, nor you,  
> so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,  
> so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.  
> \- Pablo Neruda

He dreamed of the dungeons. He was wearing that dreaded collar of Wyrdstone, once again a prisoner in his own body, controlled by creatures hungry for power and destruction.

He was a witness of yet another interrogation. The place reeked of unwashed bodies and blood but the demon inside him paid no mind to that. It was absorbed in its delight, watching the prisoners writhe in pain. The men had tried to be stoic at first but they couldn’t contain their screams any longer, the suffering being too great for them to handle any more.

His surroundings changed and he found himself in the throne room. It was full of noblemen, all chatting happily, unaware of his cries for help. The demon even made him talk to some of them, made him say things he’d never have said, had he had control over his own mouth.

In midst his conversation with a noble woman, the picture dissolved and all the people disappeared. He was still in the throne room, the man who controlled the demon still sitting next to him. But in front of him stood a woman and a man he vaguely recognised, who kept repeating something. His name, the man kept saying his name. _Dorian_.

❈

Dorian bolted upright in the bed. He put his hand around his throat, making sure the collar was really gone and he was free. It was just a nightmare, just another nightmare.

He couldn’t go back to sleep, afraid the terrible images wouldn’t stop haunting him. Instead he stood up and walked to the open window. He took deep breaths and tried to calm his rapid heartbeat.

Dorian left the room after a while, not knowing where his feet were taking him until he stopped in front of a familiar bedroom door. He quietly opened it and stepped inside.

Chaol was asleep on the bed, his breathing even. Dorian walked closer to the bed and sat on the chair next to it. He didn’t know what he was doing there but now that he was reunited with his friend, Dorian didn’t want to leave his side.

After a few minutes he heard movement and cursed himself for waking up Chaol from his much needed rest. When he looked towards him, Dorian saw he had a small smile on his lips.

“What are you doing here? You should be asleep,” Chaol said softly.

Dorian tried to smile back but it looked more like a grimace. “Couldn’t.”

“C’mere.” Chaol shifted a little and patted the bed. Dorian hesitated for a second before climbing on it next to him, their shoulders touching.

Chaol took his hand and murmured, “Are you having nightmares?”

Dorian shouldn’t have been so surprised to hear that question; they had been friends since childhood, of course Chaol knew. Dorian hadn’t planned on telling him about his sleepless nights, wanting to keep them to himself for whatever reason. But now Chaol knew so it was pointless to mislead him.

Dorian nodded.

“You know you can always confide to me, right?”

Dorian nodded again. He didn’t want to talk about it right now. He was content with just lying there with his friend at his side. He looked at Chaol. “You should sleep.”

Chaol shook his head in response. “If you are staying awake then so am I.” He squeezed his hand.

Dorian swore his heart leaped in his chest. He leaned his head on Chaol’s shoulder.

“So, your powers are getting stronger, huh.”

“I guess they are. I should start some training before they get out of control… But you know, having the ability to fly would be so uplifting. And you wouldn’t need to use the stairs, which are so not trustworthy, they’re always up to something.”

Chaol snorted next to him and Dorian felt himself smile. He hadn’t planned on coming here and telling bad jokes but he had truly missed their light conversations.

“Actually, I recently read a book about gravity, it was a heavy subject.”

This time Chaol barked out a laugh and lightly slapped his shoulder. “Dorian, I love you, but please stop with these terrible puns.”

“Hey, you laughed, that means they aren’t that awful.” Dorian replied, grinning. “This reminds me… I never said it back.”

Chaol stopped laughing and looked at him with an almost serious expression. “What?”

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you. I love you too, Chaol.”

Chaol’s eyes softened, all laughter gone. He leaned his forehead against Dorian’s and whispered, “I missed you.”

“I did, too. So much.”

“I just got you back and you’re sending me away.”

Dorian shook his head, his eyes filling up with unshed tears. “It’s for your own good, Chaol. You know that.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Yes. But don’t make it harder for me.” Dorian buried his face in Chaol’s neck and breathed in his scent. “Go to the Torre Cesme, heal. And come back to me.” He felt Chaol kiss his head and looked up. “If you’re going to kiss me, you might as well _kiss_ me.”

Chaol’s eyes widened but he nodded and leaned closer. Dorian got on his knees and cradled his face in his hands, meeting him halfway.

It was a slow, almost sleepy kiss. Their noses bumped at first and Dorian titled his head. Chaol’s lips were warm and softer than Dorian had expected. Their mouths gently brushed against each other. Chaol moved his hands on Dorian’s hips, sending a shiver down his spine. Dorian tugged on Chaol’s lower lip before pulling away.

He rubbed his nose against Chaol’s cheek, his eyes still closed, and mumbled, “I knew we should’ve done this a long time ago. But better late than never.”

Chaol kissed his lips lightly. “We actually have done this before. I think I was… fourteen? And you kept on complaining about how you still hadn’t had your first kiss-“

“Yes, I remember,” Dorian said and laughed. “Though, I doubt that last time was even remotely as good as now.”

Chaol breathed out a “Maybe,” and closed the distance between them again.

With their lips pressed up against each other, his hands in Chaol’s hair, while Chaol’s were cupping his face, Dorian thought that yes, this kiss _was_ better.

❈

For the first time in a while, Dorian slept.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written anything in like three months this probably sucks but i just read qos after a million years (tbh it wasn't rlly good) and had Feelings  
> (this tag still has like 5 fics whyy but at least now i'm not the only one writing for it)
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr @ ganseysadam


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